The Worst Flash Game Level Ever

 I have returned to vent. Ever since NewGrounds adopted the Ruffle emulator, it has become easier to play games hosted on their website, so obviously I check in every now and again to see what becomes available again. One of the games I wanted to revisit the most was Abobo's Big Adventure, a premiere title that is not only an amazing title, but one I managed to 99%.

To be more specific, I have unlocked all of the secret metals, and everything but one in particular, and now I'm gonna pour my soul over one of the most unforgiving medal objectives that I ever encountered. The stage in question is Pro Wrabobo, one of the only stages that has two parts, a Balloon Fight stage, and a Pro Wrestling stage. Now, the stage itself is standard enough, the first half mainly, just survive to the end, or make sure you don't lose your lives.

There're two achievements of note, Balloon Master, where you make it to the end without dying once, it's something I managed to achieve. Then there's Balloon Jedi... fuck. If you haven't guessed, make it to the end of the Balloon Fight section without getting hit once. Yes, avoid getting hit in a long stretch where you can get hit at any possible angle, and have the boss fire a triple direction beam, and lightning spheres that one-hit kill you, and jousters that are one step ahead of you and you need to time your position while keeping everything else in mind.

In other words, it's the makings of a fucking miserable task.

There is no real strategy to this, most I get was killing Thrilla Gorilla, hit Amazon once, kill the first jouster and get the balloon so you can get your rage meter filled. Use it first on the area where Blob is seen; Blob follows you if you don't kill it and you can find yourself landing in enemy fire just to avoid him, a truly hellish scenario.

It is incredibly easy to get hit in this, and because of how strict the terms are for the achievement, it is gonna be hell to accomplish. Now, it's understandable to get hit, but what amplifies the frustration factor is getting taken down by the exact same enemy constantly. It happened to me with the balloon jouster, and it led me to waste my rage move just to kill the bastard one time.

The furthest I ever got was to the Reaper, only to get defeated by a jouster, and I was never able to get that far again. One should not be discouraged by a few defeats, but I have faced defeat... I lost count, but I'd estimate somewhere in the high twenties. It went on for so long and often ending at the exact same place, I gave up. I will have a 99% for my achievements for the game, and that is never gonna change, I do not want to go through that hell ever again. I won't feel satisfied getting it, the stress and irritation won't justify anything, I'd have nothing to show for it.

I could clear the Contra stage without dying once, I am able to clear the first boss through a strategy, I beat the second stage without losing the protective shield, and I can't even get close to defeating this stage without taking damage, even by trolling standards this is a fucking low blow. Let's put it like this. The last stage in Super Mario 63 (edge of the kingdom, whatever it's called), it is difficult, but the hardest part is over before you know it, and it's really down to good timing. I've been able to beat that stage plenty of times with no issue. This, this is harder than that stage.

It is the kind of goal that makes me appreciate Flanders Killer 7 being available to play again. No wonder video games were linked to violence.

Cursed Jimmy Neutron Games

 It seems Jimmy Neutron had no luck when it came to the world of gaming. Now sure, Jet Fusion and Attack of the Twonkies are still fun to play, with the latter essentially being the definitive Jimmy Neutron game, they along with many others had aspects that make it, well, cursed.

But that isn't the most cursed thing when it comes to Jimmy Neutron, because its Nick.com games are something to truly behold.

Now unfortunately I only have access to three games in terms of providing footage. I do remember playing another one years ago, but three games are all that's necessary here.

These games likely came out before The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron debuted, as every game was based on the Jimmy Neutron shorts airing before then.

Before I get into it, I'd like to use this image to get you into the cursed spirt.

One character's face is indicative of how I feel, which one do you think it is?

Let me just make this clear. Jimmy Neutron doesn't translate well to flash games. Now, they didn't use a 2D style, no, they converted the 3D models to artifacts in these games, leading to choppy movement and unintentionally wonky facial expressions. The results are practically meme-worthy depending on your perspective.

Ultralord Vs. The Squirrels

Basically a PacMan clone which also gives you the ability to shoot projectiles at the enemies, along with the typical power-pellet stand-in, and the only way to beat it wholesale is to get an Ultralord action figure after collecting every dot.

The short this is based on... held up kinda poorly, so technically this game is a bit better plot wise?

While many Nickelodeon games were either basic or clones of popular arcade titles, they did introduce new aspects to differentiate them from their better known components. I will say this, it's not a direct PacMan clone.

As mentioned before, along with your power pellet, you have the ability to collect and fire projectiles, the power pellet stand-in (the hypnobeam) doesn't appear in the same place every time, you can still get hurt by enemies before collecting one last item to finish the level, and we get an unbeatable enemy, Carl and a hoard of spiders.

I can excuse some aspects because they were just using assets from the short this was based off of, but this includes cutscenes, which put this into a cursed tier.

Jank is wank.

New Dog, Old Tricks

Basically Simon. Only thing really interesting about this is the animations.

Simon says... quit.

Lightspeed Liftoff

Okay, this isn't based on an existing Jimmy Neutron short, but it's the most interesting compared to all of these. I can sum it up with its title card.

I have several questions.

Without a short to go by, I have no idea what the context behind this is. Jimmy Neutron starts by streaking in his underwear collecting random stuff. Then the point of this is to launch himself into space? That's about it.

With this image, I imagine Jimmy went through a failed experiment that cost him his clothes, and he has to make it home before someone sees him. Or he was dared into doing it.

Plus the game is janky, cheap-looking, the whole alphabet soup. This is the lowest point.

Sorry about the formatting issue

 I had it set to the wrong draft format. I'm gonna fix the effected pages before writing a new one.

Trick Or Treat Beat

And I couldn't leave this blog off without a proper Halloween-themed review, so I'm gonna hit the biggest possible one, one in relation to Cartoon Network because I have it on the Brain.

This is one of many crossover CN games released in the early-2000s (ballparking to around 2003 when many of these shows aired.) What I didn't know until now was that this was a Codename: Kids Next Door game at some point, both were released for the record.

It shows its age, but aside from the different characters and level layouts, it's basically the same game down to the objectives and abilities. Our crop of characters in the crossover version include Dexter, Ed, Edd n' Eddy, Johnny Bravo and Sheep from Sheep in the Big City (ironically that show was made by the same studio behind KND.)

The gameplay goes the same for both versions, you play a nameless child as you hunt for coins, candy and a bonus super coin to complete each level. There're five neighborhoods with four areas each. That alone along with where each item lies can bring your total gameplay time to half an hour, also no save points, it has to be done in one shot.

The schtick behind this game is that you can switch between five different costumes. The skeleton, default, allows you to open locked gates (get it? Skeleton, skeleton key?), Frankenstein's monster (I'm woke to that), can smash through most rocks, and trash cans, the Creature from the Black Lagoon can swim in bodies of water, Dracula can fly over most trees, bushes and land elevations, and the witch can turn ghost trick-or-treaters into frogs, and I won't go into the implication on that.

Thankfully, none of these costumes are underutilized, they are integral to getting everything in each level. There is some strategy to the costumes, where you have to switch between the more useful ones at the right spots, otherwise face a great deal of backtracking to get one you need at the risk of running out of time.

To progress to the next level you need to get every coin, the candy and super coin exist for extra challenge and an earlier release, less you want to run the clock. While these are typically in the open, there's some problem solving to get more, like flying to certain enclaves between bushes as Dracula to get some stray pieces, stopping by the front of houses, breaking rocks or trash cans to expose either items, going to the aforementioned characters for either, or looking in wells and dog houses.

Oh, and the ghosts you change leave behind candy too, and can block your way if left untouched, plus them moving can be a challenge when you want to lay a good hit. With the distance between costume changes and lack of certainty where every item is, sometimes you'd be cutting it close, but there is some motivation to 100%ing.

The graphics look quite good for a Shockwave game, it could even pass as a GBA game, though the kid does look creepy with those soulless pure black eyes, but what do I know? If you want a challenge, hope your computer can run Shockwave.

Powerpuff Girls: Girl Power

This isn't a continuation of my cursed Shockwave game entry, I doubt I'd find anything as cursed and official as the previous two. Though I do have something fairly weird by today's standards, and those of the year it came out's standards.

If I had to guess, Girl Power came out during the Chris Savino era of PowerPuff Girls. It's easy to identify which era each game came out (whether it be by the character style or graphics.), the cleanliness of the latter here provides credence to this, and puts it above Shockwave standards, though the game is still... something.

It's so simple yet so weird at the same time, and why am I just telling you. To start, you get to chose to play as either of the PowerPuff Girls, but for a lack of stats and the gameplay which I'll soon get into, it's just for show. They could've easily swapped between three characters automatically given the amount of levels here.

So you pick a character and you fly through a jarringly empty Townsville. There's no time limit, so you can fly for hours if you choose not to go anywhere. You have to find a villain hideout, it being marked by a skull and crossbones. Once you go in you then have to fly to the enemy. I assume the empty town was merely a map of sorts and not indicative of the town, and you have to dodge flying obstacles, I mean you could punch them but you have such wide areas to dodge in. Points for throwing in an attempt at a challenge, but it's negligible. Then we get to the boss fights and well, you could see for yourself.

The enemy never moves, its arm however does. It goes for the following enemies too, Fuzzy Lumpkins and... I'm assuming the fat member of the Gang Green Gang is named Billy? In the final stretch, the skull and crossbones is replaced with a tombstone for some reason. Either this indicates the last level, or they wanted to give a very weird implication.

And the moment you finish, the game boots back to the start like nothing ever happened. Only thing more I can talk about is the sound. It's 90% quiet, save for when you hit stuff or get hit. During the boss fight, you hear a random girl say "Oops." It can pass for Buttercup or Blossom worst case, but just know this isn't the only game to use this, it happened in a pillow fight PPG game and it was normal compared to this. Flaws are certainly apparent in this game, but I've seen worse, especially with PPG, and I'll be back with another... someday.

Two Cursed Shockwave Games

Please note these games run on outdated software, unless you have the know-how, these games cannot be played through casual means.

I'm going to assume you're all familiar with the concept of cursed commercials, commercials that stick out for the wrong reasons. If not check out Chadtronic for a crash course. Chad may have me beat when it comes to reviewing commercials, but whether anyone knows it or not, I'm gonna start digging where no one had really attempted before.

Cursed flash games.

As a challenge, I won't review fan-made stuff, it wouldn't be fair for me to mock something someone did for fun (let alone people who can accomplish more than I), no, I'm gonna go after what was officially licensed, the world of those old flash games you've seen on kids network websites.

Be real, we all visited Nick.com or CartoonNetwork.com when we were kids and played their games, I mean they still have games but none up to par. For any game, even old Shockwave ones, it's easy to determine their age based on certain nuances, though age won't save how poorly they look nowadays. But trust me, even by simple flash/shockwave game standards the ones I'm gonna single out look plain awful.

So for one of each, let's get into this.

Ed Edd n' Eddy: Sewer Rat Balloon Bash

Already the title is giving me mixed signals, reminds me of a certain era of YouTube. I have no specification on the date since the Archive.org link for it goes as far back as 2011. This would go for this and the next game, but I'm gonna assume this came out when the show was relatively new, 2000 the latest. There was an article for this on the Ed, Edd n' Eddy wiki but it got deleted, along with articles for other games.

There're two modes to this game, as implied by the title.

In the first, you play as Ed, where you're suspended in the air by a rope held by Edd and have to evade three rows of rats to collect bottles for cash. It seems harmless enough, that is until Ed takes damage. Just know it sounds absolutely nothing like Ed. I have a feeling it's a stock sound, which is why I heard it in a freeware game as well. The rat rounds end after you get ten bottles, there's no time limit, which is good since the challenge lies in how long Edd can hold you before his arms give out.

Then there's the second mode. It's a water-balloon fight between Eddy and one of the Kankers. You may think it's Lee, but it's actually Marie. You have to assume this game was made sometime after the series first aired, Cartoon Network would've had the full context to how it's supposed to go down by now. Sure, I consider Marie to be my favorite of the Kankers, but consistency is all I ask. Ironically in another Ed, Edd n' Eddy Shockwave game Edd faces off against Lee, though that goes with the episode the game was based on.

Things go off, and I imagine your eyes are drawn to the picture of Eddy with severe arthritis. The look doesn't justify the game. Like many games of this format it's just a simple JPEG moving about, I heard of people who can't draw hands, but not both hands and arms. Plus Marie's screams are something to behold.

And it just keeps on going until you die. I mean literally the game's on loop it's a point grind. Went from kinda cursed to pretty cursed, that's like a 6/10.

Spongebob SquarePants: Run for the Krusty Krab

Before I give my thoughts, here's a testimony from someone part of a SpongeBob forum that potentially predates SBMania.

"This is honestly one of the worst games I've ever played. It seems like the makers never watched a single episode of SpongeBob. The jellyfish don't look at all like the ones on the show. The only moves SpongeBob has are jump and duck. The controls are delayed much, and the gameplay is terrible. All you do is avoid jellyfish and jump over stuff. And to make it worse, the difficulty level is very high. The only good thing about this game is that the graphics are sharp." -United Spongebob - 2002

I had seen the SpongeBob games of old, and for many of them, they were consistent, even ones that were slightly off seemed legitimate. For this game, it's uncanny, made worse by the fact that this was on Nickelodeon's official website. Some speculated this game came out in the year 2000, though I have a feeling this might've been made while SpongeBob was still being conceptualized, and the designers were going by notes, accounting for the in-game oddities. The basic idea behind this is that you have to get SpongeBob to Mr. Krabs, the kicker is that you have to run and leap over obstacles. Simple stuff, aside from the fact that the game is unbelievably brutal.

The key to this game is momentum, without it you can't clear most obstacles. You have to keep running because obstacles could be centimeters within one another, and you'd be unable to turn back to get a running start. Even as early as level 2 the game does you dirty.

Think I'm being over-the-top because the cool reviewers do it, here, you tell me if this is hyperbole:

You have to dodge a jellyfish, jump over a moat and a tall barricade, and you have to keep your momentum. You have three abilities, run, jump and duck, but ducking is underutilized. That barricade in the cap above, you can't duck under it. I imagine there're obstacles that'd work with it in later levels, but nobody I know of has ever made it that far. Through my experience and I'm certain many others, we've died at level 2. I imagine the programers never made a proper ending so they had to make the game so difficult to get through that nobody would see their lack of progress. I spoiled it in the cap above, but let me sum up the design in one other.

It's clear the developers only took the smallest amount of notes on most of the designs. Mr. Krabs looks fine, for a JPEG, but SpongeBob looks like he isn't finished. His craters are not so apparent (they look like boils almost), and when it comes to jellyfish, it doesn't even look like the jellyfish as they appeared in Tea at the Treedome. It's a straight up IRL jellyfish, almost. If I had to give the game anything, the graphics are admittedly nice for a game like this. Cursed only for the fact that they give you one level to beat and for the fact that they obviously didn't consult the staff on the show, this is like a 5/10.

So what other official cursed games are out there? I could use some material.

Taking Over

Rise and shine. Not to imply you've been sleeping for all these years, how could anyone have slept? Everyone here had blanked off the face of this blog, except for me. Failed creepiness aside, since no one is running this blog anymore, safe to say, I'm in charge now. I've got a review I've posted so stay tuned. I'm running dry on general media for the time being so I'm gonna try to focus on flash games until the Christmas season.

Review-Breaking The Bank

Date Released-2008
Developers-PuffballsUnited
Genre-Adventure, Point-and-Click

Remember that 'alternate-choice' game I reviewed last time? Today, we have another one, but better. Breaking the Bank is a Newgrounds original game released by PuffballsUnited, as the first game in a series dubbed the 'Henry Stickman series.'

The game revolves around a stick figure attempting to...rob a bank. The game is simple, click an item and receive an outcome. This game actually features much to offer, as simple as it is. Even with the limited number of choices, the humour in every outcome balances it out. I'm a fan of physical comedy, and I was pleased playing this game for the comedy in it.

In short, this game features short, yet funny playthrough, at least for those who enjoy slapstick. If you're a fan of this, check this game out. Of course, I will be reviewing the rest of the series soon, so keep in for that. Did you play the game? Did you like or dislike it? What did you think of the review. Feedback and suggestions are appreciated, and I will see you all soon.

Official Walkthrough

Review-An Average Day At School

Date Released-2005

Developers-double-slash, NORM

Genre-Adventure, Point-and-Click

An Average Day At School is an adventure game originally uploaded to Newgrounds by users double-slash and NORM. The game revolves an unknown stick figure, going around the "Collège de Montréal" High School, an actual private high school in Quebec.

It's an ordinary Monday morning, and you're strolling to Math, only to realize the classroom is empty. After talking to the class coordinator, and completing a quick-time challenge, you find out the first class is Physical Education, and you quickly run to the gym. It's only after coming to the gym, however, that you realize the day is the 1st of November, and you came an hour early. The game ends after that.

So what did I think of it? Well it's definitely a very...interesting game. The idea is simple enough, which is to choose which scenarios play out, and choosing the wrong one having you "die," but the challenges don't have a set pace, resulting in a short game. Don't get me wrong, the challenges don't come too early, and at least the game has a palpable plot, but the game can have at least a tad bit more to it. Also, if you're expecting humour, there is little attempts at comedy, if at all. 

As it is now, it's a game that has a unique concept, but an execution in which there isn't enough time to play the game out. Hell, there's a review of the complete game, and it's three minutes long. It's just an amateur game that'll probably give you limited entertainment value. So did you play this game, and what did you think of it? Did you like or dislike the review? Tell me in the comments, it's very much appreciated, and I will see you in the next review.

Official Walkthrough

Review-Clear Vision I

Date Released-2007

Developers-DPFlashes

Genre-Action, Shooting

Clear Vision is a point-and-click shooting series developed by DPFlashes, a Swedish independent developing company.

The first game revolves around our protagonist, Jake. At a young age, Jake witnessed his parents killed by an unknown army general. After the murder, Jake is sent off to a remote camp, where he is trained to be a sniper. Now a free man, Jake works as a hitman, given missions to complete. To play, point your mouse at the screen, and left-click to shoot.

At the end of the game, on a mission to take down a "high ranked officer," Jake spots the mysterious army general. The game ends on a "To Be Continued...," implying this is an installment of a series.

This was certainly a good game. I believe the game ended with an ominous and vague enough ending to leave the audience wanting more. The gameplay itself isn't too difficult for players. I guess that the only complaint is that the game could've been longer,  but the game is part of a series, so I can't get too mad at it. This is personally a favourite of mine, and I  do recommend it, if you're a fan on shooters. There is a mobile version, and I do plan to review it, but later as we continue with this series.

Official Walkthrough

Review: Escape Culver

Last time, I've discussed how Whispers Room 6 is proof that escape games could be done properly. Now, let's take a look at Escape Culver, where I'll say none of those things.

Overview

Escape Culver is an escape game made by Victor Saponari and Max Ozawa, released on April 26th, 2007.

Plot

You're a student in military school, and you need to escape your room. How well thought out.

Flaws

Ok, I'll be honest here, there is hardly anything positive about this game, so, I'll just go over the faults.

• The art direction is horrendous. The entire game looks as if it was a class project made within a day or two, which actually explains a lot.
• The clock detection is wonky. Whenever you try to click on anything, at times, it won't work.
• The entire game is too easy. In fact, if you want to beat this game in under a minute, just type in "rosebud" on the computer.

Overall

This game isn't very good, and it serves as a poor example of escape games in general.

Walkthrough

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8MKC68Dlw4

Review-ESCape Prologue

Date Released-2009
Developer-Kevin Gu
Genre-Escape, Adventure

ESCape Prologue is an independent escape game created by Kevin Gu, who's currently working towards a degree in Computer Science in the University of Waterloo and Business Administration degree from Wilfrid Laurier University, according to his website here.

The game revolves around an unknown stick figure, wandering around a seemingly abandoned house. The game uses simple arrow keys to move and space bar to interact with the environment. The game has many puzzles laid throughout the house, keeping you interested. The game ends with you blowing up the front door, along with a surprising ending, which I am not going to spoil here.

The game is definitely one of the more interesting escape games. The simple style of the game has an innocent charm to it. The puzzles are engaging, involving you walking around the house to solve them. The house isn't big, so the puzzles aren't tedious, either. The dramatic music sets the mood of the game, creating a very passive yet persistent atmosphere, and I applaud Mr. Gu for his choice of music. While the game isn't spectacular by any means, I personally enjoyed this game, and if you enjoy quick and simple escape games, this is definitely enjoyable.

Official Walkthrough

Review-Travelogue

Date released-2010
Developer-Unknown
Genre-Escape, Adventure, Point-and-click

Travelogue is an escape-the-room game, where you find yourself in a hotel room far from where you'd like to be. Use what resources are available to navigate around the hotel and locate items and clues that you can use to help you escape.

The game features puzzles which are logical in design, though I anticipate that many players will have a difficult time with the game. In particular, the navigation requires some careful steps to access all areas of the room. For example, even though you may be able to see a closet from where you are, you simply cannot get to it while sitting on the bed.

In terms of gameplay, Travelogue is a fairly simple game of its kind. As you move the mouse around the screen, the cursor will change to indicate any action possible. Clicking on an item when the cursor is in the shape of a hand will add that item to your inventory. Click the small tab on the bottom right of the game window to view or hide the inventory screen.

Graphically, the game features a somewhat low-resolution, 3D rendered, photo-realistic environment that is plain, and yet believable. And while there is nothing truly remarkable about it, significant production went into the making of the game and it is one of the better ones I've seen. If you enjoy escape games, you will likely enjoy this one, too.

Official Walkthrough

Review: Whispers Room 6

WARNING: Spoilers may be present.

BACKGROUND

Whispers Room 6 is a video game made by Origaming, released on April 5th, 2011. It's an escape game built around the horror genre.

PLOT

A couple and their child are driving at night, just as a storm develops. The husband (Mr. Johnson), agrees that they should stop for the night until the storm passes over. They discover a motel, and they check in, only to receive a room that has been dormant for years. Mr. Johnson goes to wash his face, only to be frightened by the sudden appearance of a ghost girl in the mirror. If that wasn't eerie enough, he finds that his wife and child have disappeared.

GAMEPLAY

Like many escape games, you click your way around, looking for items and doing puzzles. Nothing more could be said about it.

PROS

• The game delivers a chilling atmosphere, and it actually works. Throughout the game, you can't help but feel for the main protagonist

• The game is simple enough to play, almost to the point that even first timers could do it without a walkthrough.

CONS

• Depending on your computer, the game may not load at certain instances, only at pure luck.

• There're some instances of lag, but it isn't constant.

OVERALL

Whispers Room 6 is worth a try, if you're looking for a well developed game, and is right up the ally of horror fans.

WALKTHROUGH

PT. 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmh-eVuHVsM
PT. 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMBeOs_o1gY

Review-Pricilla Gone Missing

Date Released-2005

Developer-Johan Törnkvist

Genre-Adventure, Puzzle

Pricilla Gone Missing is an independent Flash point-and-click adventure from Johan Törnkvist, a talented design and technology student at Hyper Island in Kariskrona, Sweden.

The game begins with the player learning of the disappearance of Pricila (Aunt "Prissy"), which warrants an investigation. From there a charming little adventure unfolds in which the player must look for items and clues to progress through the story. But don't  expect to find Pricilla in this installment; the game is only the first part of what is promised to be a continuing saga.

Standard point-and-click protocol is observed by clicking on items to add them to the inventory, and by dragging found items into play or onto other inventory items. Navigation between scenes is accomplished by moving the player-character in a third-person perspective by clicking on a destination location.

This is a great start to what I hope is to be a great series. The clear graphics and the mix of two-dimensional and three-dimensional create an almost photo-realistic appearance, impressive for a flash-supported game released in the mid-2000's. The art design makes sure everything has the smallest details, making it very unique. The audio design and music create a very stern atmosphere, which I can tell was the developer's intention. The puzzles you encounter are logical, simple, and very subtle, accessible to even the most casual gamer. 

Johan has done an exceptional job of providing the basis for a compelling story-based point-and-click adventure with cunning graphics and gameplay, so let's give him lots of praise to motivate him to finish it.

Official Walkthrough