Monday, September 5, 2022

The Worst Flash Game Level Ever

 I have returned to vent. Ever since NewGrounds adopted the Ruffle emulator, it has become easier to play games hosted on their website, so obviously I check in every now and again to see what becomes available again. One of the games I wanted to revisit the most was Abobo's Big Adventure, a premiere title that is not only an amazing title, but one I managed to 99%.

To be more specific, I have unlocked all of the secret metals, and everything but one in particular, and now I'm gonna pour my soul over one of the most unforgiving medal objectives that I ever encountered. The stage in question is Pro Wrabobo, one of the only stages that has two parts, a Balloon Fight stage, and a Pro Wrestling stage. Now, the stage itself is standard enough, the first half mainly, just survive to the end, or make sure you don't lose your lives.

There're two achievements of note, Balloon Master, where you make it to the end without dying once, it's something I managed to achieve. Then there's Balloon Jedi... fuck. If you haven't guessed, make it to the end of the Balloon Fight section without getting hit once. Yes, avoid getting hit in a long stretch where you can get hit at any possible angle, and have the boss fire a triple direction beam, and lightning spheres that one-hit kill you, and jousters that are one step ahead of you and you need to time your position while keeping everything else in mind.

In other words, it's the makings of a fucking miserable task.

There is no real strategy to this, most I get was killing Thrilla Gorilla, hit Amazon once, kill the first jouster and get the balloon so you can get your rage meter filled. Use it first on the area where Blob is seen; Blob follows you if you don't kill it and you can find yourself landing in enemy fire just to avoid him, a truly hellish scenario.

It is incredibly easy to get hit in this, and because of how strict the terms are for the achievement, it is gonna be hell to accomplish. Now, it's understandable to get hit, but what amplifies the frustration factor is getting taken down by the exact same enemy constantly. It happened to me with the balloon jouster, and it led me to waste my rage move just to kill the bastard one time.

The furthest I ever got was to the Reaper, only to get defeated by a jouster, and I was never able to get that far again. One should not be discouraged by a few defeats, but I have faced defeat... I lost count, but I'd estimate somewhere in the high twenties. It went on for so long and often ending at the exact same place, I gave up. I will have a 99% for my achievements for the game, and that is never gonna change, I do not want to go through that hell ever again. I won't feel satisfied getting it, the stress and irritation won't justify anything, I'd have nothing to show for it.

I could clear the Contra stage without dying once, I am able to clear the first boss through a strategy, I beat the second stage without losing the protective shield, and I can't even get close to defeating this stage without taking damage, even by trolling standards this is a fucking low blow. Let's put it like this. The last stage in Super Mario 63 (edge of the kingdom, whatever it's called), it is difficult, but the hardest part is over before you know it, and it's really down to good timing. I've been able to beat that stage plenty of times with no issue. This, this is harder than that stage.

It is the kind of goal that makes me appreciate Flanders Killer 7 being available to play again. No wonder video games were linked to violence.

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